Writing for myself

Does anyone ever read these things I post? Probably not and probably because I'm so random and don't post very often. I just went back and read a few of my latest posts and loved remembering those fun moments. It makes me want to post about my life more. You know, so I can go back and remember that it's really great. Especially when I end the day feeling like I've failed as a mom. My one job. Why is it so hard sometimes?

Wes has been so hard the past few weeks. I feel horrible. It's 99% my fault, I swear. First off, I think he knows baby brother is about to steal the show soon. Not kidding, he feels it coming. Second, he's teething. He's an awful teether. These babies better grow in fast. Let's get this over with already! Also, life has just been so busy lately. We're moving to a new place, Mike has been super busy studying to take the GMAT and summer is just busy with all the extra things we try to cram in. Oh Wes. Sorry little buddy.

I was just writing in his little journal that I keep for him and feeling super guilty about things. I really shouldn't. I promise I'm a good mom. He just requires so much attention right now and some days all I want to do is sleep. I think I could sleep 18 hours a day lately. This baby (the one in my belly) is taking all my energy. All I've got to say is, he better be a good baby and sleep tons when he gets here or else...

Anyway, I love my baby Wes and am constantly reminded of his sweetness. He loves to play out on our little porch area. I fill up his tiny, plastic wagon with water and he could play out there for hours. It's so funny, I have to keep refilling the wagon with water because he likes to 1. Sit in it and take half the water out with him when he gets out 2. Take a cup, fill it up with water and dump it either on his belly or drink it 3. Dunk his head in the water and look up and laugh really hard. So, with all these exciting activities the water doesn't last long in the baby wagon. Maybe it's time to upgrade. Anyway, between drenching himself with water and laughing hysterically at all the funny things he thinks he does out there, he'll look up at me in the kitchen, run over and give me the snottiest kiss ever. I absolutely love it. His little nose is running almost 400% of the time, especially when he's playing in water. But I would do anything, any day to have him stop what he's doing and remember he needs to kiss his mom that very second. He is so happy running over to me and just laying one on me. And I am equally as happy about the whole thing. Please tell me this will never end?

I took some fun pictures of him playing today with my camera but I'll just post what I have on my phone since that's what I'm using to write this rambly message.

I love this boy more than any words I could ever imagine writing. I hope he's able to realize someday just how important and special he is to me. 

And then we snuggled and watched Despicable Me because he refused to nap. Even though all I wanted to do was nap (or pack the million boxes just waiting for me) I wouldn't trade anything for snuggles with this squishy boy!